That’s right I’m writing about me now! If I want to refer to myself in the third person to make hating myself more convenient I will.
1. Jasper is a fuck up!
2. Jasper is entirely inhumane!
3. Jasper killed so many fucking people, it ain’t even funny anymore!
4. Jasper continually does stupid things that end up hurting Alice!
5. Jasper acts like a fucking newborn whenever people are around and Alice is not!
6. Jasper is nowhere near the man Alice deserves – no matter what she says… everyday… several times a day!
7. Jasper is a coward that uses Alice’s physical absence from a situation as an excuse for why he fucked up… AGAIN!
8. Jasper went off and scared the shit out of his Mama when he wasn’t even old enough to fight yet by running off all half cocked and fighting against those damn Yankees!
9. Jasper seems to have no way of controlling himself – no matter how hard he tries he still fucks up!
10. Because it took me 100 years to walk away.
Showing posts with label 10 Things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 10 Things. Show all posts
Monday, February 15, 2010
10 Thinks I Hate About Edward
1. His damn ability to always know when I’m thinking about Alice – and he always gets that shit eating grin on his face
2. His damn ability to know when I’m beating myself up – and he doesn’t fucking understand why sometimes I just have to
3. The way all the girls in every room he walks into seem to radiate lust in 0.00000001 seconds
4. Because he is “listening” to this right now – and there is the shit eating grin again
5. Because he makes the most hideous noises when he yanks it off – take that Edward!
6. Because it is so easy to make him try to block your thoughts - so why the hell doesn’t he do that to begin with?
7. Because he IS good at everything – what the fuck is up with that?
8. Because I don’t get why his emotions go to panic mode anytime someone says he needs a girl!
9. Because he really does hate himself as much as I do
10. Because he freaks out about EVERYTHING!
2. His damn ability to know when I’m beating myself up – and he doesn’t fucking understand why sometimes I just have to
3. The way all the girls in every room he walks into seem to radiate lust in 0.00000001 seconds
4. Because he is “listening” to this right now – and there is the shit eating grin again
5. Because he makes the most hideous noises when he yanks it off – take that Edward!
6. Because it is so easy to make him try to block your thoughts - so why the hell doesn’t he do that to begin with?
7. Because he IS good at everything – what the fuck is up with that?
8. Because I don’t get why his emotions go to panic mode anytime someone says he needs a girl!
9. Because he really does hate himself as much as I do
10. Because he freaks out about EVERYTHING!
10 Things I Hate About Emmett
1. He's really stupid... on purpose
2. He's annoying
3. I know what he's hiding behind all that laughter and I can't tell anyone
4. He could kill me by sitting on me... really hard
5. He is WAY too open about his relationship with Rosalie
6. He doesn't know the meaning of “over-share”
7. He is almost constantly horney – in fact he has two emotions 1) Horney 2) Not as Horney
8. He's a meat head – probably because he's alway thinks with his dick
9. He has some of the dumbest ideas
10. He yanks off EVERY time Rosalie leaves the house for more than 5 hours
2. He's annoying
3. I know what he's hiding behind all that laughter and I can't tell anyone
4. He could kill me by sitting on me... really hard
5. He is WAY too open about his relationship with Rosalie
6. He doesn't know the meaning of “over-share”
7. He is almost constantly horney – in fact he has two emotions 1) Horney 2) Not as Horney
8. He's a meat head – probably because he's alway thinks with his dick
9. He has some of the dumbest ideas
10. He yanks off EVERY time Rosalie leaves the house for more than 5 hours
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