Why I Love Shit Kickers

A/N – I don't own Jasper, Stephanie Meyer does – Although I did e-mail her and ask if I could spend an afternoon with him in his shit kickers. (Still haven't heard back)

Oh! This is a little Manifesto - if you will - that Jasper wrote when he was board one day.

Why I Love Shit Kickers

1. Because they are comfortable
2. Because they are functional
3. Because I love saying “Shit kickers”
4. Because they make my chicken legs look bigger, at least at the bottom, under my jeans
5. Because they look great with wranglers – and Alice loves me in wranglers
6. Because I was wearing some when I met Alice
7. Because Alice likes when I wear them
8. Because Alice especially likes when I wear them in conjunction with calling her “Darlin”
9. Because Alice says it gives her an excuse to call me “Cowboy” and I love the look on her face when she says that.
10. Because people don't fuck with a man in shit kickers!
11. Because it reminds me – a little – of my human life
12. Because my Daddy gave me my first pair when I was eleven
13. Because my Mama always said a real man wears shit kickers
14. Because it drives Alice wild when I wear tight wranglers commando – and what goes better with that then shit kickers?
15. Because although Alice is the only woman for me – and is quite enough woman for any man – I am STILL a MAN and it drives MOST women I've ever met wild when I wear tight wranglers and shit kickers.
16. Because Alice says it’s hot when I wear nothing but my boxers and shit kickers.
17. Because Alice says it’s hot when I wear nothing but my shit kickers
18. Because nothing is more comfortable than an old worn pair of shit kickers
19. Because recent science has said there is nothing better for your feet than shit kickers – and humans worry about that kind of thing.
20. BECAUSE NOBODY FUCKS WITH A VAMPIRE IN SHIT KICKERS!